What Would Oprah Do: Harnessing a Wise Guide to Motivate Values-Based Living

Many years ago, one of my therapy clients came to session beaming over the values-​based choices she had made during the previous week. When I asked what helped her to succeed, she said, “Every time I faced a choice, I just thought, WWJD?” At first, I anxiously thought, What would Jesus do? Oh no, I didn’t know she was religious! But then she went on to explain that the “J” she was referring to was not Jesus, it was…me! She said each time she faced a tough choice, she thought about our sessions and what I would do if faced with a similar choice. Then she harnessed her psychological flexibility skills and did it!

I loved this so much that I adopted it as a regular values exercisethat I use with all my clients. I ask them to think about who their J would be--someone they know (like a coach, friend, or family member), someone they feel like they know (like a celebrity), or even a fictional character. Someone who embodies the qualities they would most like to embody in their own lives. A person, or persons, who represents the Me they most deeply desire to be.

Here's my own example: if you know me, you know I have a mild Oprah obsession. I look up to Oprah because she has endured poverty, abuse, racism, sexism, and body shaming and has never let it stop her from being herself and pursuing what matters to her. Though I don’t know Oprah personally (yet!), she also seems to want to leave the world better than she found it. So when I’m faced with a tough choice—one where I have an opportunity to do something values aligned, but avoidance beckons—I think, WWOD: What would Oprah do?

This strategy was THE way I chose to do a TEDx talk during a time I felt paralyzed with fear and woefully inadequate, and I’ve used it many, many times in the four years since.

Who is your ‘J’ or ‘O’? How might they help motivate you to show up as the Me you most deeply desire to be, especially when feeling challenged to do so?